Review Outline

Review Outline:
1. I am reviewing the ice cream parlor Maggie Moo’s, which is located on campus.
· The source of my information is my own personal opinions of Maggie Moo’s and the opinions of mu audience.
· I will also be comparing other local ice cream parlors and how they are set up against Maggie Moo’s.
· My sources are credible and there is enough information to understand what’s being reviewed.
· I will establish credibility by using an appropriate writer’s perspective and appearing to be knowledgeable with appropriate diction, reasoning, and attention to accuracy.
2. I will be crediting the overall performance of Maggie Moo’s resulting in if Maggie Moo’s is “good” or “bad”.
· My thesis is reasonable when I define all my criteria for a good ice cream parlor and what is bad.
3. My criteria for my specific audience is the social atmosphere, service, cleanliness, and the overall taste of them ice cream being served.
· I will show support of my criteria with analogies and metaphors.
· My support will be sufficient, typical, accurate, relevant, reasonable, and logically sequenced.
· My criteria will be sequenced from least important to most important.
4. I will anticipate questions and refute or accommodate objections that people bring to my attention with my subject I am reviewing.

Criteria

Based off the audience analysis I did, I came up to the conclusion of four relevant criteria for my audience. Those four criteria are, the social atmosphere, service, cleanliness, and the overall taste of them ice cream being served. Social atmosphere is important for my audience since they are in the stage of there life where not only do they want to have a fun place to hang out with friends and catch up, but to bring a romantic interest in Maggie Moo's and not get a bad review the next day when their date is talking to her/his friends about how it went. Also social atmosphere is important because people what to hang out where their hangs are most likely to be, so when they walk in and they see a bunch of people they know they feel good. The service at Maggie Moo's is big on the list of criteria. No one wants to go into a place and get treated bad when ordering food. My audience wants someone nice and helpful rather than a grump who just wants your money and for you to leave as soon as possible. The criteria cleanliness is important to my audience because we do not want to be sitting down having a wonderful conversion and a cockroach come walking by. My audience does not want to eat in a place were they have sticky tables and floors that haven't been clean in weeks. Lastly the overall taste of the ice cream, my audience does not want to have to pay to eat something that tastes disgusting. My audience wants to get their moneys worth when it comes to the taste of the ice cream, if it is bad they want nothing to do with it. Those are the four criteria that are important to my audience and why.

Template A: Audience Analysis

For my review the audience is college students or families visiting the University of Central Florida. I am reviewing Maggie Moo’s which is an ice cream parlor, so students or families might be concerned about the sugar levels in the ice cream. My audience also values the cleanness of the parlor and service they are receiving. Since my audience is on the younger scale, they aren’t too concerned about the calories, but are concerned about the taste of the ice cream. Also my audience is concerned about the social atmosphere. They want to go someplace where they can have fun with friends or an intimate desert with a desired love interest. They also socially do not want to be seen somewhere not cool or looked down on. Right not in my audiences life they care entirely too much about how others proceed them and want nothing more than others approval. They do not want to be a social outcast, but to be accepted into every group with open arms. Unfortunately for some of my audience they care more about the way others do about them that they lose them self in the process of becoming of what others what them to be. This audience tends to go by trends rather than what they want to do or feel. They feel reassured by the opinions other people have about them. They are out of the stage of constantly disobeying their parents yet aren’t out of the constant strive to achieve social acceptance. The audiences friends are also interested in the same things, the basic trends of today in clothing, music, and they way the present themselves to others. If people that are consider in the social eye like to shop at one store than the others will begin to shop at that store. Not all people in this audience are like this, there are a few that go to the beat of a different drum. Those people have grow past those stages in life and are becoming an important individual in the community right before they leave to make a name for themselves in the business world. Though they might say that they don’t care about what people think about them, everyone has a small ounce of them that cares what others perceive us as. They might not act or dress like the mainstream crowd, but they deep down care about the opinions of what others think about them. They also care about what their individual group of friends’ think about them rather than the population at a whole. These are the values, social needs, and cognitive needs of the audience that go to Maggie Moo’s.

Review Topic

I am going to review the Maggie Moo's that is on campus (by tower 1).

Commentary Thesis

The countdown of one minute begins.  The adrenalin starts pumping in your veins.  Finally there is only a couple of seconds left until you can sign up for your classes.  It's time, you type in that first class and enroll, but when you make the final conformation it says the class is full.  This happens to major of students at University of Central Florida, including myself, when it comes to the time for registration.  Thousands of students every semester are unable to sign up for the classes required for their major because of the simple fact there aren't enough sections offered.  UCF is over-enrolled at 6.8% now and is predicted to increase to 10.4% next year (UCF Enrollment Projections).  Even though the enrollment is increasing, the student to teacher ratio is not.  This problem is a very serious issue that is affecting numerous students now enrolled.

Commentary Outline

I. Introduction:
a. I will give an insistence when I notice the problem how we can’t get the classes needed.
b. I will then give an outstanding thesis that will give you insight into what this trend signifies.
c. I will then give you a summary of the questions and the significance of why the issue is important.

Questions:
Does this affect your graduation date?
Do you take classes not needed for your major just to get the hours required to maintain Bright Futures?
Why don't they open up more sections of the classes?
Does Bright Futures realize this is happening?
Can we add more students to the designated small classes?

II. Paragraph 1:
First Point: Does our constant growth of the campus contribute to this problem?
a. I will give statistics on how the number of students accepted keeps increasing.
b. I will give experiences and the statistical view of the student to class ratios.

III. Paragraph 2:
Second Point: Graduation date getting pushed back.
a. I will tell you about how I interviewed a group of people and asked them if this problem has happened to them.
b. I will also give research about how many people have been graduating after completing more than four years.

IV. Paragraph 3:
Third Point: How do others feel about this issue?
a. I will interview and give you the results on how students feel about this problem.

V. CLOSE:
a. In the conclusion I will repeat my questions introduced in the introduction paragraph.
b. Then I will state my results.

Commentary Letter

Hey Taylor,

I am so frustrated! I went to my advisor again and she will not over ride the My UCF system to get me in a Chemistry II lab. I know what you are thinking; didn’t I take Chemistry II a year ago? Yes, but I still haven’t been able to get in a lab. Not being able to sign up for the classes that are required is a real problem here at University of Central Florida. So before you decide to transfer here you should think about if this would affect your graduation date. To make matters worse I need 12 hours a semester to keep my Bright Futures Scholarship, so I sign up for random classes I don’t need so I can fulfill that requirement. Do you think you would take classes not needed to get hours that are required to maintain Bright Futures if you went here? Why won’t they just open up more class? That question puzzles me. I was talking to one of my science professors and he told me that there are 600 students taking the lecture class and they only offer 300 students a place in the lab. That is just crazy, how am I ever going to sign up for the lab when 300 other students are fighting for my same class? I also just heard that Bright Futures is only going to pay for enough credit hours that happen in four years while not you finish the requirements to get a diploma or not. So if I never get my Chemistry lab and go over the four years worth I won’t be able to get a degree because I was able to sign up for the classes I need. Does Bright Futures realize this is happening to the students? You know if we can’t add more classes why because of teacher cuts don’t you think we should add more students to the designated small classes? So in this case instead of only have 30 people in each lab we can add maybe 10 more for a total of 40. That would help a lot. This problem is going to make me be a fifth year senior out on loans just trying to get a chemistry lab. Hopefully I won’t end up being one of those old people that are in the class because I will never get special pick on getting my classes first. The worst thing of it all is that I can’t even sign up for classes yet and 5 of the 19 sections offered for the lab at this time are full. How is that even fair? You should really consider other schools first that have enough teachers or room more students before you decide on University of Central Florida. Taylor, I wish I never left Clemson University because I did not have this problem once when I was there. Every time I signed up for a class I got it. University of Central Florida really needs to fix this probably for the students so we can graduate on time.

Sincerely,
Kellsey